Goodbye 2008

Time does fly. It is just a couple of days before we welcome the new year. It feels just like yesterday we celebrated Wardah's birthday (she is a new year baby!).

2008 had been a year full of curiosities looking forward to Nadeen's milestones. Adjusting my life with a 4th child in the family.Managing my daily routines with the elder girls schooling & Nadeen at home. She is almost 1 year & a month. I am still nursing her & alhamdulillah her supply of milk is more than sufficient. I'm ashamed though to admit that I do not fully breastfeed her. She settles with formula whenever I leave her at home with my helper.

The girls did good in school. Am proud of their involvement with the school activities too. Yasmin will remain as a school prefect next year & Wardah will follow suit. She is soooo looking forward I can tell. Balqis is happier in her present kindergarten. I once asked whether she wanted to go to her previous kindergarten. She refused despite the kindergarten offered a swimming pool for her to dip in.

HB exceeded his mount climb excursion this year... (I still know my Math!). He went to 3 instead of an annual event promised. OK lah 2... one is only a warm up or like you stated - the practice. And I know you can't wait for what awaits you next year. You have my consent dear.... provided, you take us to for a holiday first ;-)

Still remember my cats? Blanco is 5 months now & Bonita is close to 3 months. Getting along very well together. Too well actually... I have to take them to the vet for a vasectomy soon! Am too young to be a grandma!

My helper agrees to continue for another year. That is a relief...! (not only that good help is rare nowadays but the amount I have to invest for a new one is ridiculous!) Her daughter is recovering very fast, alhamdulillah. I really do not want to be a barrier between a mother & her daughter. But that was her own decision & we welcome that with open arms!

As for yours truly, this year has taught her to look at life differently. Losing my dear friend made me reflect upon my being here. Not for long I'm aware but I hope long enough for me to touch the hearts of those I care deeply.

To everyone, may this new year brings us the best of what we wish for. Ameen..

The gift

Yesterday, a week has passed since the passing of my dear friend. Life is unpredictable but we have to move forward. The jokes, laughters & tears that we once shared together preserve as a sweet memory of our friendship.

Her passing is a blunt reminder to us. Those who are still living & sometimes forget. We are no immortals. No mortal knows what he will earn tomorrow. No mortal knows where he will breath his last.

Life is vulnerable. I don't believe in reincarnation. Say & do what you need to. Show & express what you have to. As life is short & time waits for none.

I look at my family with a different perspective now. It makes me ponder... All this while I showered them with love & affection without fail. Not knowing whether it is sufficient or inadequate. Refuse to acknowledge their concerns over my infinite mothering. Gone by phone chats with my parents without once the words "love you " uttered.

Alhamdulillah, my girls are natural in showing their fondness to both of us. Even to each other & their grandparents. HB, you know... there is always a room of improvement ;-O Me? I was not brought up in such way towards my dad (abah). It is a spontaneous act kissing & hugging my ma but sadly not my strict, no-nonsense abah. We know that we do love each other & period.

However, ever since my abah's 60th birthday, I had made the effort to kiss him after every salam. He looked surprised but did not hesitate. Even now, after salaming him, he will be the one ushering his cheeks to be kissed.

Quite recently too I witnessed my brother hugged him before leaving, after our regular monthly visits to our parents'. I felt the warmth between them even though our skin was untangible.

This reminds me of Roosevelt's quote which was recently highlighted in the movie Kungfu Panda. "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift." The best gift is of love & affection. Don't let the gift be an untold mystery. Treasure the gift & don't let it be history.

To my baby, my parents, my girls, my siblings, my family , my friends - I love each & everyone of you!


surprised