Tamil Nadu, India - Day 2

I woke up early that morning & found my girls all still asleep next to me. Traveling with 4 children, I need to be extra organised. What more when I am that type of mother who is particular with what the children put on. Hence you can imagine how I was the day before we traveled. At least an hour was spent to select the clothing to wear. Packing as always was done by HB. So, there was I on our second day at uncle's, arranging the 4 attires to be worn by my girls. It's quite a tricky job because with 3 luggage bags, I kind of forgot which was where ;-)

By the time I was done, the girls were awake or more likely awaken by auntie... She came in to check on us. With her deep Indian accent, she tried her best to converse in English which was very foreign to her tongue. "You, comfortable?". It was of course followed with head movements :-) Oh! How I miss her!

Getting a shower was another challenge. There were 6 of us. Hence none in the family dared to wait for their turn to use the attached bathroom in the room we slept in! Normally, I'd bathe Nadeen with Balqis first & later her sisters wouls shower or HB would assist with them while I showered. Next would be either Yasmin or Wardah & lastly HB. Doesn't that sound like forever to wait until all of us are done ? ;-)

As I was getting ready, I heard my MIL calling out for me. Since we tried our skill in making Vadey the day before, she was wondering whether I wanted to have a look at their way of making Paratha or Roti Canai to us.

This is one of auntie's helpers, kneading the dough to make Paratha

Ready to be cooked

Yasmin with her Paratha

After breakfast we got ourselves ready for the reunion in Papanasam. The journey was merely an hour drive but we would only retire back late at night. Knowing it would be a long day, I had packed ample extra clothing with towels for my girls. Definitely the most important thing in the list was a camera!

In front of Uncle's house

Uncle's beautiful house

Balqis & Nadeen with our ride

Ready for the journey

Ato in India but I'm more familiar with Tut Tut

A very old temple in Thanjavur.

I've been told that many Hindu worshipers all around the world come here including from Malaysia. That explains why AK flies to a nearer airport to Thanjavur, Tiruchirappali International Airport. Merely an hour drive! We definitely opt for this airport the next time we pay Uncle a visit BUT... I doubt HB would opt for AK though ;-)

This used to be a palace but unfortunately they converted it to government offices

I've seen a lot of motorcyclists in Tamil Nadu but didn't even see one with a helmet! Well, there were just a handful of them in Chennai....

Even though how reckless they can be on the roads, accidents seldom happen. That was according to the locals which in fact I believe since we didn't witness any. Could the non-stop honking style of driving help us Malaysians to pull down the accident rates?

A Petrol Kiosk

I saw a number of this advertisement but have no clue of what it was about...

But this one I could comprehend ;-)

If I'm not mistaken we took the 12 o'clock

A bullock cart

I'm sure these were for sale, he couldn't possibly bought all that!

Paddy field

A normal scenery by the river bank

I got so excited upon seeing these cars when we were at the airport :-)

A man at a laundry shop

This was shot when we were in the van. I so wanted to get hold of those... but be patient & wait for my post on Chennai ;-)

A local school

A mosque

Such an exquisite tree

We were almost there at our destination for the long awaited reunion

Here you are ... Auntie Aysha's & Uncle Hamid's place in Papanasam

It was this house that witnessed a unification of one big family. For those who might have missed my post on how it all started you may read here. After months of waiting, my FIL was finally reunited with his half sisters. Frankly, I was kind of nervous. For him that is... All this while he has always been telling me his stories & I never fail to listen tentatively. Hence, I sort of understand on how he might have felt. Imagine seeing your flesh & blood whom you never knew you had. Not only 1 or 2 but 4 (including Uncle Guthoose).

The moment our van driver pulled the hand brake, I was almost sure that it was going to be a beginning to something beautiful. At a glimpse I saw only a couple of men at the verandah but as I was minding the girls, the crowd outside tripled or not more. The warmth shining away from their faces vanished away my anxiety.

My FIL hugging his sister, Auntie Mumtaz.

Just look at the embrace he received from his BIL, Uncle Ibrahim!

With all 3 of his new found BILs, frm left Uncle Anwar, Uncle Ibrahim & Uncle Hamid

HB with his dad, BIL & uncles in laws

We were invited inside the house. What awaited us were the daughters & daughters in laws with their children. All came out from the kitchen & the rooms to meet us. True that language was a barrier but it sure didn't stop us from getting to know each other.

HB with his sister & a few of their cousins

Here, Uncle Guthoose was translating from English to Tamil & vice versa

My FIL with his new found siblings

He dropped a few tears... I saw. It touched me. I've seen those tears before. It was in Klang when he was telling me about his childhood & the hardship. The moment he started recalling of his mother, tears came rolling down his cheeks. He has been the man of the family at a very young age. Responsibilities were endless. Though how smart & brilliant he is, poverty defeated his dream to further his studies. Without a degree he couldn't give his mother luxury. That was the reason for those tears that day.

Not in Papanasam though. It was not those tears of sadness. He was overwhelmed with joy I could tell. I still remember him boldly telling one of his sisters, "I'm your brother, Idris..." with pride.

Auntie Aysha

Auntie Mumtaz

Auntie Rabiah

Now here's my Yasmin with Uncle & her twin! That's cousin Yasmin (Auntie Rabiah's daughter). They share the same name & I do believe they have a few similarities in features as well. Don't you think?

Their first language was Tamil. The very few Tamil words that I know are Ane, Thamby, Macha. How possibly could I communicate with them! Good that amongst them were a few who were well versed in English. Uncle was one & Sajitha, his daughter. Hence these two did not even have the chance to go to the toilet! We needed them with us in the living area. Hahaha! And yes, another translator was Uncle Hamid (Auntie Aysha's husband). He used to work in Malaysia & his Malay was marvelous!

Here is Sajitha Maryam, our translator

From these photos it looked that we had too much of things to say but the truth, it wouldn't be possible without both Uncle & Sajitha.

Whilst we were busy catching up the young ones got themselves busy. Thanks to Yasmin for babysitting little Nadeen the explorer.

I was freshening up upstairs when I saw everyone was looking at a couple of photos. Knowing me... I just hate to be left out, hence, I rushed myself downstairs. HB presented me with this photo which made me had a shock of my life!

What I had in my hand was a man who resembled the love of my life. I knew at once it was the photo of Arwah Atuk.

Arwah Atuk Abdul Rahman

Two brothers sharing stories of their old man

Not long after that Uncle ushered us to our ride. Anyhow what attracted my attention outside was this...

Our lunch ;-) A cook was employed for this task.

At first I was not sure of our destination but the minute our driver put the bus to a halt & I saw a glimpse of a mosque, I knew that we were visiting Arwah Atuk's grave. Again my thought went to my FIL. Try putting yourselves in his shoes... It had been more than 3 decades after his father's passing & it was only then he had the opportunity to pay his grave a visit.

When I found him, he was surprisingly calm. Greeted the Imam of the mosque & together we herded to the cemetery which was situated just behind the mosque.

Approaching the cemetery

The Imam led the recitation of Yassin

It was quite difficult for us to get to the exact grave as there were no visible tombs. From far Uncle pointed that Arwah Atuk's grave was next to the wall on the left.

Our attempt to get closer failed as we were scared that we might step on other old graves. This was the closest we got.

Nadeen was too young to understand but she didn't hesitate to follow what others were doing.

As we were leaving I saw the stiffness on my FIL's shoulders. His loyal hankie was again in his hand to wipe those watery eyes.

Making our move to the van with the mosque in the background

Nadeen with her Tata (grandpa in Tamil)

Our next stop was an old house or should I say a mansion. It was this house that Arwah Atuk used to live with his parents & it was also this house that led to a sad story which I choose to keep it confidential.

We moved on. On the way we came across these school girls. Look at their school uniform. What attracted my attention was their identical hairdo which was part of the uniform :-)

The van slowed down upon reaching a house. The house that Uncle grew up in. Smaller but it was cozy enough for the family.

The house and its interior.

Us in front of the memorable house.

We headed back to Auntie Aysha's place after that. What awaited us was this scrumptious thing... Lunch!!

Mutton Briyani with fried chicken

Check out the amount of rice in that tray! I opted to share with Nadeen but our small stomachs failed to finish it up. It was way too much for us but... I helped myself for extra mutton though;-)

Did I tell you that on that day itself my FIL received more than 5 calls from overseas? Yes, his nephews working abroad gave him a call to say hello. They not only talked to him but passed the phones around to the others as well. Even to me, a relative by marriage. How sweet was that? I began to fall in love more with this new family :-)

My FIL in one of his many phone calls he received that day.

After lunch we chilled out outside on the verandah. We were getting more comfortable with each other. Language was not an excuse to get more acquainted after all.

I was enjoying everyone's company when Auntie Mumtaz came out with a tray full of betel & its condiments. I watched too much of TLC & was scared that I would be forced to eating something I hate as not to hurt the hosts' feelings. Hence, I hurriedly excused myself inside ;-)

Auntie Mumtaz apparently did not make us chew those Betel... :-)

Since we were already in Papanasam & both Auntie Mumtaz & Auntie Rabiah lived very nearby to each other, we decided to go to their houses as well. First stop was Auntie Rabiah's

Uncle Anwar is Auntie Rabiah's husband

Made ourselves at home ;-)

We even toured the kitchen... & found these grinders.

Antique grinder for chillies.

Modern grinder for flour & dhal.

Instead, my girls were invited to the bedroom or did you invite yourselves, girls?...

But the roof top, I know they definitely invited themselves! They were so fascinated with the flat rooftops.

In front of Auntie Rabiah's & Uncle Anwar's (far right) house

Next we went by foot to Auntie Mumtaz's.

These 2 have become good friends.

I simply loved their cozy house. Very cooling!

Which explained Nadeen's nap ;-)

Again, I found my other girls with their cousins in the room!

I honestly thought after the 2 visits, we would return to Auntie Aysha's. Instead, we were brought to this new house. Beautiful, especially the scenery from its flat rooftop. It belonged to cousin Zahirah Bannu (Aunty Mumtaz's daughter).

This was her with her son, Shoib. Her husband was in Doha (I think...). I had already gotten mixed up with who is who & this who is where business doubled the confusion! ;-)

Her house was not fully completed yet but her welcome was more than complete.

This lady really amazed me. She was with us during lunch. In fact it was her serving the rice & making sure we did not run out of water or even chicken. I saw her leaving by bus when we had a chat at the verandah. I was wondering of her hastiness. Little did I know that she was to play host to us later in the evening.

We were served with plenty of Indian delicacies. The sandwiches in the middle were a hit though ;-)

In front of her house...

It was already dark. I was very sure it was the final house. Hence I led my legs to the van. Was already seated when Wardah called upon me. Obviously there was one more visit to the house opposite of Zahirah's. I obeyed despite of my weariness :-)

However, the moment we stepped inside the house, the girls got excited. Including their mom really... There, in the middle of the living room was this big swing! Waiting for us to ride on...

With the many of us taking turns swinging, I tell you it sure had passed the QC ;-)

As I was entertaining the children & myself (hehehe...), Sajitha called out for me. She led us to a room with this pretty girl inside. I was told that she was not allowed to go outside to meet the others. I was rather perplexed upon hearing such statement. According to Sajitha, a girl after getting her menses until the day she weds, is not allowed to go outside of the house accept for educational purposes. Which means the girl can only go out to school & after school off she comes home.

That's me interrogating Sajitha for more information outside the room. In yellow was the grandma & next to Sajitha was the girl's mom

I then found out that Sajitha herself was restricted at home before her marriage. And that was not all... The first time she saw her husband was only on their wedding day itself! It was a match make & everyone in the family still obliges to arranged marriages. That was news to me... and it was definitely news to her when informed that HB & I married out of love :-)

OK after bidding farewell, we climbed up the bus. It was really tiring but we still couldn't call it a day. Once back at Aunty Aysha's I straight away got busy bathing Balqis & Nadeen. I was about to instruct their elder sisters to do so when Sajitha asked us to go downstairs. Since I haven't prayed, I allowed Yasmin & Wardah to go downstairs first. What awaited me in a room next to the living area was a celebration...

It looked to me like Malam Berinai ;-) My SIL mentioned of her intention to apply the henna when we had our afternoon chat earlier. Who would have thought that they took the trouble just to make us happy.

Yasmin chose to apply it to her feet instead of her hands. Henna is not allowed at school

Wardah too. That was Fajila, practising her skill whilst her mom, Shameem looked on.

With all the noise we made, baby Ameera (Sajitha's daughter) slept undisturbed on her granny's (Uncle's wife, Auntie Parveen's) lap.

Sajitha did mine

Good job!

Balqis's turn. That was Zahirah doing it for her. After playing host at her place she got into the same van & followed to Auntie Aysha's with us.

My Nadeen wouldn't want to be left out definitely. Sajitha volunteered to do it for Nadeen. Of course she used such opportunity to cuddle her ;-) (Nadeen was not so fond of her Auntie then... )

She requested to have both hands drawn. How demanding!

Thank you Auntie. Muuahhh!

We had a late dinner due to the henna session. After dinner we took a family photo together.

All of us reunited!

On the way home I dozed off. Felt that the journey back to Thanjavur was rather too short. By the time we finished freshening up it was almost midnight. Still we (my SIL, Sajitha & I) insisted to carry on with our plans ;-)

Remember I mentioned that my SIL requested to try the henna painting? Well, I sort of requested for something else... I once asked Auntie Parveen about Saree. It amazed me how she could wear it at ease & at the same time breezed through doing house chores. Since it was our final night in Thanjavur, we decided to be little girls again & modeled on a couple of Sajitha's sarees.

It was indeed fun! Everyone was sounded asleep & there we were parading in our sarees like Bollywood superstars. Hahahh! But it was awkward that I had to do it in silence! ;-) Yes, photos were shot but I prefer to keep it private :-)

*to be continued

One of My Proud Moments

Yes, I know that I am due for my next travel journal post... but I just have to make way to this one first.

Early this year Wardah took an online test at home. I didn't interrupt her at all. She did everything all by herself. A couple of months back, her name was up for another test. She with 2 other students from her school were to sit for another online test. But this time it was conducted at a school near Puchong area. There were invigilators & the test was to be completed within a time period given. She came out of the lab earlier than others which was not to the liking of her dad ;-) Her prompt answer was... "Senang daripada test dulu!". That's my Wardah ;-)

Yesterday, she came home wearing a smile & a big envelope in a hand. My dear Wardah has been selected for the programme - Permata Pintar. It is basically a twin programme to Center for Talented Youth, Johns Hopkins University. It caters the special needs to students with high academic abilities. Locally the university responsible for such programme is UKM. Youy may read here.

Wardah has qualified as an alumnus for the Permata Pintar Programme. She will attend a 3 weeks holiday camp from 29 Nov to 17 Dec end of this year. Err... not at JHU but UKM ;-) That is a long period to be separated from my 9-year-old girl! We are allowed to visit her only on Sundays... How impossible it sounds I definitely have to let go...

With this piece of news, my parenting once more is challenged. It's Yasmin. She has always been the prominent one in the family & when she is not selected for this programme both, HB & I are worried. We both tried our best not to overdo it with Wardah's achievement. When they met, Yasmin did congratulate her sis. It looked genuine to me. Still I decided to have a talk with her.

As I expected, she was keeping something inside. She refused to admit but I know my Yasmin just too well. Hence, she started pouring it out to me.

I knew exactly how she felt. I was the eldest & pretty much like Yasmin was always a top scorer or amongst the top scorers. But many things didn't really get my ways. The chance to go to a boarding school in form 1 is one example. I knew I got her attention & slowly I could see her face softened. She understood.

Later right before dinner, Wardah came whining up to me saying that Kakak Yasmin accused her for getting a boyfriend at the camp. Seeing Yasmin teasing her sister like that & Wardah responded as she would always do, I knew I had passed that stage in parenting :-)

Tamil Nadu, India - The Journey & Day 1

Home sweet home... Alhamdulillah everything went off smoothly. Yasmin was a bit feverish on the last day but we were prepared with medicine.

We reached Madras International Airport at 2230 local time. The immigration did not give us any trouble at all & in fact they were pretty friendly. Well, perhaps we were lucky. The one attended to us was an elderly man & seeing my young girls he kind of softened.

It was an old airport. A new one should be ready in 2 years time. The walk to the exit was way too long for us. Perhaps the lack of sleep in the flight contributed to the situation. Once outside I was surprised to see the many people waiting. Softly in my heart I was wondering what if we could not find our dear Uncle Guthoose.

As I was minding the younger girls, I saw my father in law (FIL) who was leading the troop put a halt & gave someone a hug. Yes indeed, we found Uncle Guthoose & his wife, Aunty Parveen. It was such a warm welcome & deep inside I knew it was a beginning to something beautiful.

They ushered us to the side of the road. Uncle instructed us to wait by the roadside as he went to get the Tempo Van he had rented for our comfortable stay in India. Whilst waiting Aunty took out something from her handbag & presented a Kit Kat & a Cadbury bar to each of her grandchildren. What a lovely sight to see her distributing the goodies ... Sleepy eyes suddenly were widely awake :-)

The Tempo Van was not bad at all. At a glace it reminded me to the Britz we rented when we were in NZ. Remember? The motor home? It was white & huge enough for our party of 11. As I climbed in I knew it would be a comfortable ride. It was equipped with 14 seats.

From Chennai we had to travel to Uncle's place in Thanjavur which is 342km away but due to the road condition it took us a 7 hrs ride. This was the most challenging part of this trip. However, come to think of it was really not bad compared to my other previous experiences traveling. We were most of the time sleeping in the mini bus or trying our best to sleep. The younger ones had no issues at all. They slept for almost the entire journey. Nadeen especially. HB & I took turn carrying her.

We arrived in Thanjavur safely the next morning. Nadeen woke up the moment I stepped inside Uncle's beautiful house. It was not a good sign because my tired body longed for a bed but Nadeen was wide awake & active!

We freshened up. The room was air-conditioned & the hot water in the bathroom completed our coziness. As we climbed down the staircase such scrumptious aroma welcomed us. Breakfast was served. Aunty, though how tired she must have been went to the trouble instructing her 3 helps with our first meal in India.

Brothers - my FIL & Uncle Guthoose

I think breakfast was meant for a king! We had varieties of Indian foods. From Vade, Puree, Thosai, Idly to the sauces like chutney, dhall curry & potato marsala. All in one meal!! We had started to fall in love with this country... After breakfast we had a chat in the living area. But slowly one by one retired & surrendered ourselves in dreamland.

I was dreaming of Vade when an earsplitting noise woke me up. Nadeen was next to me playing with an alarm clock! I remembered telling Wardah to monitor Nadeen while I napped. Perhaps she got bored & sneaked out. The condition of the room was not actually a pretty sight. Nadeen was still new to the house so she wouldn't go further away from me. But I found our luggage ransacked & baby powder sprinkled on the floor & bed!

Wardah rushed in upon hearing the alarm clock. Gave some excuses that Nadeen was out of control. Didn't blame her because Yasmin was trusted with a more interesting task that was to take care of Balqis. They were on the flat rooftop playing.

The alarm clock incident caused me a mild headache. Searched for the PCM I brought along from home & headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water. One help was busy cooking. Another was asking whether I had dirty clothes to wash. Uncle & Aunty were no where to be seen. They were napping as well I assumed. Found Sajitha, Uncle's only daughter with her baby Ameera. We chatted & she was really bubbly telling me about my newly discovered relatives.

Sajitha Maryam & baby Ameera

After Friday prayers we had lunch together. You wouldn't believe what lunch was... Mutton Briyani with freshly squeezed orange juice! Not forgetting fried chicken. I was too scared to think of dinner!

Our Lunch

Balqis helping herself to her favourite -fried chicken

In the evening we visited Aunty's relatives who stay in the neighbourhood. Even though we are merely related by marriage, their hospitality was marvelous. We had the chance of meeting Aunty Parveen's mother. I think she is close to 90 years old. She didn't understand English & we knew nothing of Tamil but her ways & gestures hugging & kissing us were tremendously affectionate. It touched me deeply!

We had a tour of the town Thanjavur afterward. It was a quick one. Didn't even step down from the mini bus. (Sorry no photos. My point & shoot is missing... It's either somewhere in this house or it still in vacation right across the Bay of Bengal)

What awaited us at Uncle's was dinner... Aunty promised to keep it simple but her fish curry was nothing ordinary. Homemade spices, that was the trick ;-)

I was the first to retire that night. Nadeen had no choice but to join me. The next day would be the reunion of my FIL with his 3 sisters. A big day...

*to be continued

A Reunion

I have just finished packing. A chore which I wish someone could complete it for me. But thinking of the many things that might be left out, I might as well do it myself. Yes, we are going off again. This time it's to Incredible India.

This trip is a holiday cum a reunion & what better timing than this month of Syawal. The elder girls at the beginning were not so keen to go. The thought of having to skip school for a week isn't that appealing to them. Anyhow, I recently realised that the only days they are cutting class are this Friday & the following Monday. Thanks to the extra raya break & the UPSR.

Not many are aware or even crossed their mind that HB has Indian blood flowing in his body. His late paternal grandfather originated from India. It has always been HB's dream to take his father to India & visit his late grandfather's grave. But he didn't know where to start. Early this year his intention was made easy by dear Uncle Guthoose.

It was the day when my PILs' place in Klang received a surprised guest all the way from India. It was my FIL's half brother whom he didn't know he had. OK, let me guide you to memory lane. I have always been a good & tentative listener to my FIL & here I am putting them into words.

Uncle Ghuthoose is the one in blue with his wife next to him. My PILs are far behind, standing.

Arwah atuk (my late grandfather) came from a wealthy family in India. He was married to a local there but she died at a young age. They had a son but arwah atuk was devastated with grief & left India for Malaya. He was a good man. An honest merchant. His fluency in English helped the locals to communicate with the English who then were ruling the country. Due to his kindness, he was offered to marry a local girl, arwah nenek (my late grandmother).

They were granted with 3 children. A girl, the eldest & 2 younger boys. My FIL is the elder son. At the same time when arwah atuk & nenek were living happily, arwah atuk's mother in India was hunting for him. She sent a search party to Malaya & they found him. Arwah atuk wanted to take his wife along but her family in Malaya rejected. So off arwah atuk went alone.

In India, his mother was overwhelmed to see him but he didn't know her other intention. He was to marry another local girl in India as to secure the family wealthiness. It was a forced marriage which even Uncle Guthoose admitted it (my FIL was happy to know this new piece of news). Arwah atuk had always been an honourable person & when it came to his mother he had nothing but to give in. From that day arwah atuk had to cross the Bay of Bengal often to visit both his family in Malaya & India.

Being the eldest son in the family my FIL had to sacrifice a lot. He was most of the time the head of the family since arwah atuk's nature of work as a merchant required him to travel. It was when arwah atuk passed away that life became more difficult for his little family in Malaya. My FIL had to do all kinds of work even at his young age to support the family. They were poor to the bone.

I have always lent my ears whenever he starts telling me about his past years. From there I gather why it is only now he has agreed to meet his step siblings in India. Uncle Guthoose somehow has opened his heart to accept them.

I still remember the day when my MIL gave us a call. She would normally talk to me & ask about my girls. But on that particular day, she asked straight away for HB. Once they were done talking, HB made this announcement.

"Let's go to Klang. We have guests. Family from India!"

Even I was nervous with this small reunion. My concern was my FIL. How would he take it...?

The moment our car was parked at the front yard, I saw a glimpse at the door. My girls rushed in to get their grandparents but it was this man with my FIL's resemblance who greeted them. He put on this cordial smile & the spark of happiness showed in his eyes was genuine. My girls shook his hand & kissed it as we normally respect the elders here. His response was the light pinch on the tip of my girls' nose. Pretty much like the Hindi movie I used to watch! ;-) Once I saw my FIL's face, I knew it was a great sign.

Tonight, InsyaAllah we will again be meeting Uncle Guthoose & through him, we will meet the rest of the clan in India. To think of the heat & the 7 hours drive from the airport to Thanjavur (the town Uncle Ghuthoose resides) gives goosebumps. My prayer for our safe & easy journey. Amin... So India, here we come!