One of My Proud Moments

Yes, I know that I am due for my next travel journal post... but I just have to make way to this one first.

Early this year Wardah took an online test at home. I didn't interrupt her at all. She did everything all by herself. A couple of months back, her name was up for another test. She with 2 other students from her school were to sit for another online test. But this time it was conducted at a school near Puchong area. There were invigilators & the test was to be completed within a time period given. She came out of the lab earlier than others which was not to the liking of her dad ;-) Her prompt answer was... "Senang daripada test dulu!". That's my Wardah ;-)

Yesterday, she came home wearing a smile & a big envelope in a hand. My dear Wardah has been selected for the programme - Permata Pintar. It is basically a twin programme to Center for Talented Youth, Johns Hopkins University. It caters the special needs to students with high academic abilities. Locally the university responsible for such programme is UKM. Youy may read here.

Wardah has qualified as an alumnus for the Permata Pintar Programme. She will attend a 3 weeks holiday camp from 29 Nov to 17 Dec end of this year. Err... not at JHU but UKM ;-) That is a long period to be separated from my 9-year-old girl! We are allowed to visit her only on Sundays... How impossible it sounds I definitely have to let go...

With this piece of news, my parenting once more is challenged. It's Yasmin. She has always been the prominent one in the family & when she is not selected for this programme both, HB & I are worried. We both tried our best not to overdo it with Wardah's achievement. When they met, Yasmin did congratulate her sis. It looked genuine to me. Still I decided to have a talk with her.

As I expected, she was keeping something inside. She refused to admit but I know my Yasmin just too well. Hence, she started pouring it out to me.

I knew exactly how she felt. I was the eldest & pretty much like Yasmin was always a top scorer or amongst the top scorers. But many things didn't really get my ways. The chance to go to a boarding school in form 1 is one example. I knew I got her attention & slowly I could see her face softened. She understood.

Later right before dinner, Wardah came whining up to me saying that Kakak Yasmin accused her for getting a boyfriend at the camp. Seeing Yasmin teasing her sister like that & Wardah responded as she would always do, I knew I had passed that stage in parenting :-)

When Is The Right Age?

I bet the title is kind of catchy there. Well, it was really the first thing that came out from my mind. The right age? To what? Jeng Jeng Jeng....

I was watching Cerekarama just now. The title "Dalil Cinta" was not as catchy as mine though ;-) What attracted me to be glued in front of the TV were the 2 leads. No big fans of them but I like their act.

I was simply killing time watching while waiting for Nadeen's bedtime which is late nowadays. But it was at the point when the quiet father responded to his outspoken wife regarding her parenting that hit me!

What? You didn't watch it? OK. OK. I give you a brief synopsis. It's about this newly married couple. The young wife is still studying & lousy with housework. She anyhow is granted with a very patient husband who is madly in love with her. Her husband tolerates with her totally because of love. I bet you can tell the rest. Something happened. Wife is willing to change & they live happily ever after.

Now back to the father. When the wife decides to change her mom agrees to coach her but not the father. He highlights the mother's fussiness. She is the best of wives & superb with housework. Due to that she rather does things on her own. Her style, her way, her pace! The victim is their daughter, the young wife.

My parenting was challenged! I sound almost like the mom. Not the best & superb part but doing things my style, my way, my pace... True I have a lot to learn but knowing that I have done almost 11 years of the wrong parenting gave me the hiccups.

When is the right age? Yasmin will turn 11 in a few days time but I have never been satisfied with the way she makes the bed, washes the dishes, sweeps, hangs clothes... I leave them to the maid & if she is too occupied, I would normally do them. My Yasmin has never used an iron! Gee... I'm that terrible. To me her concern is school. Yes, she is an A student but I doubt she would survive the world out there without me.

Now I remember how both Yasmin & Wardah love it when the duty roster states their names for sweeping. Something they don't do at home. How good are their sweeping in the classroom or shall I rephrase to how terrible are they at it?

Sri, my maid for 4 years has gone home for good. I promised to update right? But I choose not to. It's kind of disturbing which I don't want it to be jotted down for remembrance.

With this new maid, I can make a few changes. I'm including my girls with housework. I don't want my girls to be like the Nisa in that Cerekarama. I hope it is not too late. Any tips to share?

The Birds & The Bees

A week has passed & Alhamdulillah, Yasmin & Wardah are coping very well fasting. Not really a surprise as this year is not their first experience. Balqis has not yet tried. She did join us for sahur though, twice. Well... that's a good start for a 4 years old, right? ;-)

I've been quite occupied this week & it will get busier next week with school recommences. As some are aware, I have a little business selling cookies in Ramadhan. Only two types & the simplest to make - Choc Chips & Butter Cornflakes. I have finally gotten hold of a few packages of fine sugar yesterday. Now that all the ingredients bought, I may start with cornflakes anytime now but choc chips, I've started once Ramadhan started.

Back to the title... I wanted to share with you about a book I bought 2 months back. This book was introduced to me by a friend. She has a teenage son & the book helps to assist both mother & son to teach & learn about developments in anatomy, changes in feelings & from there his mom can go further discussing the birds & the bees.

I 'm sure most parents out there find it difficult to be open about it. Not that I am bragging but I did not encounter any problem when I had the discussion with Yasmin. Perhaps it was an easy task when it involved a mom & her daughter. Yasmin's mature mind helped a lot too. She took it as another piece of knowledge & there was not even once she went "urgh.." or smiling of embarrassment.

This is the book. Since it is edited & published in the US, there are a few things which we as parents need to play our part. Towards the final chapter of the book it touches on safe sex. Definitely not our culture & especially to my religion. Still we need to take that piece of information in a positive way but with guidance. I'm pretty sure you understand what I meant.

There are a few pictures attached but not to worry they are all drawn. No photography which I'm sure might be misled ;-) Here are some excerpts of the contents.

I am a member of the Popular Bookstore. No... not me. Yasmin actually. I used her name during registration & was granted a student card which allows the holder to enjoy the benefits offered. Membership fees? Half price cheaper for students ;-) I don't really agree to points accumulation offered by the other bookstore. I don't want points which I can redeem but prefer a discounted price anytime I purchase a book or even stationery.

This book is usually a hot cake. It might not be at the shelf. In fact, I didn't get the book straight away. It was out of stock. Made a booking with no payment needed & a week after, I received a phone call to collect my book. Simple.

I was browsing the net yesterday for a book on smocking (Yes, this is my latest craze!). Fell for a book which definitely suits me as a beginner. Tried my luck to call the bookstore & I managed a booking via a phone call. How convenient... It saves not only time but also the cash. How many times have you spent on something else when the exact thing you plan to buy was not available? Plenty of times... I'm sure :-) I was in the same boat.

Now, here is a glimpse of my venture in smocking. Don't let the dress deceive you...

My smocking needs a lot of brushing up so hurry book...! (will update on the end product of the dress ;-D)

Is my parenting wrong?

This week, I'm back as their mom. Cooking, chauffeuring, nagging, fretting, entertaining... you name it. They are done with exams, so need not have to privately tutor them fhuuuh... I can't lie. Quite tiring yes, but ain't complaining! HB fails to understand how I enjoy every second of it. It's called self-satisfaction. Am grateful that I've given the chance to see my girls grow up right in front of my eyes. Not everyone is granted with such wish! Alhamdulillah...

Today's Friday. The schedule is to send Wardah to school at 2pm & make Yasmin tags along for her mengaji class which starts 45 minutes later. Normally, we will have ice cream near Wardah's school to kill time.

Today, as we were savouring our high in calories snack I saw a boy & a little girl riding a bicycle (the girl was the pillion). According to Yasmin, those 2 were in the mengaji school with her. The boy 9 & his sister, 7. Exactly the ages of my first 2.

They instead of taking a left turn to the mengaji school, rode straight ahead passed my car & stopped at a hawker stall in front of the school. He waited for his sister to get off then only he did & together they walked to the stall. How I wished I had bionic ears. Was curious to know the conversation... you know him seemed like a very responsible brother.

They left the stall with the girl holding an orange drink & the boy some keropok. Reaching their bike, him offering his sister the keropok & she holding on to the drink for her brother to take a sip. Next, he passed the keropok for her sister to hold. I was really curious with what he wanted to do. He dragged the bike with his sister tailing him to a junction. She waited at the sidewalk whilst her brother continued dragging the bike onto the street, parallel to the sidewalk.

He then took the drink & food from his sister, hung them to each of the bike handles, held the bike & with the sidewalk as a stepping stool, her little sister was at ease getting onto the bike. He cycled passed my car. Maybe was aware of me observing them, he gave me a smile! What a charming little boy...

Seriously, it is difficult for me to picture my girls doing that. They are most of the time out of control with each other. It's not that they are not in good terms... they are. Enjoy each other's company yes but when it comes to responsibility, I don't think they have it. I blame myself for that. Me, the 24/7 mom... ALWAYS fussing over their needs. Food served, clothes washed & ironed, books arranged accordingly to their timetable & they even ask permission to everything from watching TV, surfing internet, riding bicycle even eating ice cream!!

Perhaps, it is difficult for me to let go. After all I would always want to be the winds beneath their wings (I touched on this on my maiden post). The higher crime rate now does limit the girls' freedom which I assume will instill the responsibility in them.

I think I better start to transform them from home. Having reading a post by a friend recently, I realised that I have a lot to learn. Does not mean with 4 children I am a pro at this. Am still crawling to be a good parent. Thanks Uncle Lee for sharing.

It is already mid-term break. Today's their last day of school. I hope I manage to discipline them a bit on house chores. Being responsible of their own belongings or at least their own needs. And.. I will try my best to be a hands-off mom.

We are going to Taipei this Sunday (will blog why we opted for Taipei). I have made the seats arrangement in the flight beforehand. Nadeen will of course be with me. Wardah & Balqis CANNOT be too close to each other (they can be the best of friends also the worst of enemies). Hence, Yasmin will have to help me babysit Balqis & Wardah will be next to me. I hope everything will go well. Perhaps from this trip I can have a rough idea what & how my "home drill" will be... ;-)

Enjoy your holidays kids & to parents, all the best! Hahaha....!