Saturday, March 6, 2010

When Is The Right Age?

I bet the title is kind of catchy there. Well, it was really the first thing that came out from my mind. The right age? To what? Jeng Jeng Jeng....

I was watching Cerekarama just now. The title "Dalil Cinta" was not as catchy as mine though ;-) What attracted me to be glued in front of the TV were the 2 leads. No big fans of them but I like their act.

I was simply killing time watching while waiting for Nadeen's bedtime which is late nowadays. But it was at the point when the quiet father responded to his outspoken wife regarding her parenting that hit me!

What? You didn't watch it? OK. OK. I give you a brief synopsis. It's about this newly married couple. The young wife is still studying & lousy with housework. She anyhow is granted with a very patient husband who is madly in love with her. Her husband tolerates with her totally because of love. I bet you can tell the rest. Something happened. Wife is willing to change & they live happily ever after.

Now back to the father. When the wife decides to change her mom agrees to coach her but not the father. He highlights the mother's fussiness. She is the best of wives & superb with housework. Due to that she rather does things on her own. Her style, her way, her pace! The victim is their daughter, the young wife.

My parenting was challenged! I sound almost like the mom. Not the best & superb part but doing things my style, my way, my pace... True I have a lot to learn but knowing that I have done almost 11 years of the wrong parenting gave me the hiccups.

When is the right age? Yasmin will turn 11 in a few days time but I have never been satisfied with the way she makes the bed, washes the dishes, sweeps, hangs clothes... I leave them to the maid & if she is too occupied, I would normally do them. My Yasmin has never used an iron! Gee... I'm that terrible. To me her concern is school. Yes, she is an A student but I doubt she would survive the world out there without me.

Now I remember how both Yasmin & Wardah love it when the duty roster states their names for sweeping. Something they don't do at home. How good are their sweeping in the classroom or shall I rephrase to how terrible are they at it?

Sri, my maid for 4 years has gone home for good. I promised to update right? But I choose not to. It's kind of disturbing which I don't want it to be jotted down for remembrance.

With this new maid, I can make a few changes. I'm including my girls with housework. I don't want my girls to be like the Nisa in that Cerekarama. I hope it is not too late. Any tips to share?

12 comments:

ibu,mommy,mom... said...

Hi:)

I dont have a maid,I dont have a driver I am the one doing all those things on my own.

But my Lil one is responsible wx her room and some other chores.
I dont redo what she does,I keep telling her if buat cantik cantik kan sedap mata memandang and kalau tak cantik you have to bear with it right?So you choose.

Usually bed tu tunggang terbalik but when she see my bed nice and proper she'll do hers back

She sweeps her room before bedtime.She is in charge of cleaning of her own territory.

She can goreng her own telur and buat air sendiri but sikit lagi nak ajak masuk dapur belajar masak:)

tireless mom said...

Same predicament Ja. The kids will cross the bridge. As for my daughters, once they know that they will be going to boarding schools, alhamdulillah they start to become domesticated. No right age, it differs from one child to another, depends on how passionate they are with house works.

MHB said...

hi ja..

no, i did not watch the show but my cousins who did were talking about it while we were busy kacau-mengacau bubur asyura at my mom's today :) yelah ja.. my kids pun macam yours. my eldest is 11 and memang tak pandai apa.. semua bibik buatkan... but you know what? come to think of it i was like that too... i never had to do any house chores growing up but bila dah dewasa pandailah pulak!! (perasan sket ye.. tak pe kan??) hehe

but i guess it helped that my mom loved all things neat, clean and beautiful in her home... so walau tak buat sendiri masa kecik2 the appreciation for it ada.. so bila dah besar and nak tengok yang sedap mata memandang kenalah usahakan ye tak?

(sorry panjang la pulak comment ni!!)

Kak Ezza@makcik Blogger said...

jah..drama tu semalam memang bagus sekali dan memang kat rumah ni memang macam tu terutama bab bangun tido...akak kena tempik kuat kuat supaya bangun...kena bising2 suruh kemas bilik dan kemas rumah...dan satu lagi kena jerit kalau nak suruh mandi...apa nak jadi budak2 ni....

mama fieza said...

hi kak ja.. sangatlah tidak layak untuk mengomen kerana pengalaman tak banyak pun.. fieza tak tengok cerita tu.. fieza maid tak de.. so semua kena buat sendiri.. tahun ni kak long dah sekolah darjah satu.. so bulan pertama kasut dia fieza basuhkan.. start masuk 2 bulan.. dia kena basuh sendiri kasut n stokin dia.. kejam tak??? tapi dia dan adik dia umur 4 tahun suka basuh pinggan.. (main air n sabun yg lebih).. bab menyapu tu rajin jugak.. tapi tatau la kak ja... bertahan ke sampai kebesar ntah.. harapnyer bertahan la..

maknyer tak la serajin mana.. huhuhuhu..

Mel said...

hi Ja! its mel here =)
i've always included my sons whn doing my daily house chores, i have nvr had a maid so everything kena buat sendiri. My eldest son 9yrs old cleans his own sch shoes, helps with the laundry, dishes, vacuuming the house, making beds and other chores. kadang2 dia merungut jugak but i buat dek je coz i want him to learn to be independant. my 2nd son is 7 yrs old, he's learning to wash his own sch shoes. sakit gak mata tgk kasut sekolah tak seputih macam i basuh but takpe, lama2 nanti pandai la dia. i've also start him doing his own plates after meals. so far my sons ok ok la, i started them frm quite young whn they were toddlers in fact. juz sharing my experience =)

jabishah said...

Hi Rene,

Oh No! I am a terrible mom! I need to learn trusting those girls with housechores. I am one mom who does a one man show.Things will be different. I hope!

jabishah said...

Kak Yatt,

I sure hope so. Yasmin looks forward for boarding school though how much I am against it. I dont really mind when they will able to cross the bridge but I do care whether they ever going to cross it! Oh well... I trust u kak yatt ;-)

jabishah said...

Hi MHB,

I do hope it will work w my girls as it did with you. My worries are more on Yasmin. She'd 11 & she never irons her own clothes! I will have to start trusting them with house work...

jabishah said...

Kak Ezza,

Agaknya bila ramai perempuan mcm tu kut.. Semua harap org lain. Tak buat sendiri. Kan?

jabishah said...

Fieza,

Bagusnya. Awal dah train. Kak Ja ni jgk yg slow ajar diorg ni. Nak kena mula ni...

jabishah said...

Oh Mel... You are such a great mom!Can u train my girls? ;-) Im such a lousy teacher to my own kids. Esp at house work!