Friday, May 23, 2008

Is my parenting wrong?

This week, I'm back as their mom. Cooking, chauffeuring, nagging, fretting, entertaining... you name it. They are done with exams, so need not have to privately tutor them fhuuuh... I can't lie. Quite tiring yes, but ain't complaining! HB fails to understand how I enjoy every second of it. It's called self-satisfaction. Am grateful that I've given the chance to see my girls grow up right in front of my eyes. Not everyone is granted with such wish! Alhamdulillah...

Today's Friday. The schedule is to send Wardah to school at 2pm & make Yasmin tags along for her mengaji class which starts 45 minutes later. Normally, we will have ice cream near Wardah's school to kill time.

Today, as we were savouring our high in calories snack I saw a boy & a little girl riding a bicycle (the girl was the pillion). According to Yasmin, those 2 were in the mengaji school with her. The boy 9 & his sister, 7. Exactly the ages of my first 2.

They instead of taking a left turn to the mengaji school, rode straight ahead passed my car & stopped at a hawker stall in front of the school. He waited for his sister to get off then only he did & together they walked to the stall. How I wished I had bionic ears. Was curious to know the conversation... you know him seemed like a very responsible brother.

They left the stall with the girl holding an orange drink & the boy some keropok. Reaching their bike, him offering his sister the keropok & she holding on to the drink for her brother to take a sip. Next, he passed the keropok for her sister to hold. I was really curious with what he wanted to do. He dragged the bike with his sister tailing him to a junction. She waited at the sidewalk whilst her brother continued dragging the bike onto the street, parallel to the sidewalk.

He then took the drink & food from his sister, hung them to each of the bike handles, held the bike & with the sidewalk as a stepping stool, her little sister was at ease getting onto the bike. He cycled passed my car. Maybe was aware of me observing them, he gave me a smile! What a charming little boy...

Seriously, it is difficult for me to picture my girls doing that. They are most of the time out of control with each other. It's not that they are not in good terms... they are. Enjoy each other's company yes but when it comes to responsibility, I don't think they have it. I blame myself for that. Me, the 24/7 mom... ALWAYS fussing over their needs. Food served, clothes washed & ironed, books arranged accordingly to their timetable & they even ask permission to everything from watching TV, surfing internet, riding bicycle even eating ice cream!!

Perhaps, it is difficult for me to let go. After all I would always want to be the winds beneath their wings (I touched on this on my maiden post). The higher crime rate now does limit the girls' freedom which I assume will instill the responsibility in them.

I think I better start to transform them from home. Having reading a post by a friend recently, I realised that I have a lot to learn. Does not mean with 4 children I am a pro at this. Am still crawling to be a good parent. Thanks Uncle Lee for sharing.

It is already mid-term break. Today's their last day of school. I hope I manage to discipline them a bit on house chores. Being responsible of their own belongings or at least their own needs. And.. I will try my best to be a hands-off mom.

We are going to Taipei this Sunday (will blog why we opted for Taipei). I have made the seats arrangement in the flight beforehand. Nadeen will of course be with me. Wardah & Balqis CANNOT be too close to each other (they can be the best of friends also the worst of enemies). Hence, Yasmin will have to help me babysit Balqis & Wardah will be next to me. I hope everything will go well. Perhaps from this trip I can have a rough idea what & how my "home drill" will be... ;-)

Enjoy your holidays kids & to parents, all the best! Hahaha....!


U.Lee said...

Hi Jabishah, terima kaseh seribu for the mention.
Jabishah, sometimes we have to let go of our kids, give them some "Merdeka"....your kids from your photos I can see they look the responsible kind of children...and with you as a doting mother, teaching, guiding, motivating...they'll grow up to be 'Jabishas' believe you me.
Vincent as a single father, his baby Audrey only 2 months...and he brought her up better than most parents, his friends, my friends too.
By age 6 she cook cook simple dishes, clean house and knows about money. But she sure one heck of a poker hustler...ha ha, at age 6!!!
By the way, I can see beauty runs in your family, huh?
You stay beautiful, Jabishah, and keep well, best regards, Lee.

Shera said...

Ja Sayang,
Dont be too hard on yourself. I truly believe that we parents always have the best interest of our children in our hearts, justifying what we do and otherwise. I also believe that children should be given freedom to decide and act, thus learning to take responsibility for consequences. Having said that, I have a challenge too in raising my two daughters, both with the best and the worst of whatever there is and most of the time wonder if I have raised them well. It's a learning process for us, right? So, take it easy, dear. There's still a long way to go....

lizamurni said...

Ja, u know what, i actually cried at the end of your entry.....(emotional giler i nowadays due to 'some' reasons...sob..sob..)...anyway, i missed my children so much even though i meet them everyday and i'm with them everynight.....i really missed them coz i feel that i don't spend that much of a quality time with them, most of the time when i'm home, i'll be busy cooking, doing house chores, etc,etc.....i don't actually sit with them and laugh together at their silliness and mischiefs..not anymore...
i guess my work has gotten to overshadow all the things that i'm supposed to do with my children....
alamak, am i making sense? lantak la, janji dpt luah perasaan....will blog about it soon...

eileen said...

ja, happy holiday
hope the kids enjoy taipei..
ill be in kl insyaAllah 13th june..will give u a call ..
dont worry too much abt yr parenting are one great mom!! your kids are very lucky to hv you as a mother...


leen said...

Ja, don't worry so much. You have wonderful kids and personally I think you're one cool mum. (Suddenly teringat kat Wardah: Mama, Aunty Leen tu doesn't know how to make cookies ke? Asyik suruh mama je...:-)

Hahaha, have a great holiday ya. (though I still wonder why Taipei, hehehe).

jabishah said...

Hi Uncle Lee,

Thank you for sharing your experience with Vincent. Audrey is very fortunate to have him as her parents, mom & dad. I just hope that my girls will feel the same... ;-)

You take care uncle!

jabishah said...

Hi Shera,

Thanks for your kind words. Life was far so simple right when we were still in college. But I won't change anything in this world for the life that I have now... Glad that I have friends like you to make the journey easier.

Have great holidays!

jabishah said...

Hi Dikny,

Awwww... don't cry... You know what? That's a distinctive sign that you, in fact we are great moms. Feeling melancholy over anything that concerns our children.

I respect working moms. Out working for her family still have time to make fuss over the kids & hubby at home. You people are indeed Superwoman! (teringat pulak lagu Karyn White)

You take it easy Dikny. Your Seniman Jalanan is definitely lucky having you around ;-)

jabishah said...


Thanks. You're a great mom too. Ring me up tau... Will blog about Taipei soon. We did have a great time!

Take care now.

jabishah said...


Thank you! Hahahaha... Wardah is a challenge to bring up , I have to say! Where have you been? Busy kerja lah tu... Let me know if you want to do lunch. ;-)

Salam to your parents!