Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The gift

Yesterday, a week has passed since the passing of my dear friend. Life is unpredictable but we have to move forward. The jokes, laughters & tears that we once shared together preserve as a sweet memory of our friendship.

Her passing is a blunt reminder to us. Those who are still living & sometimes forget. We are no immortals. No mortal knows what he will earn tomorrow. No mortal knows where he will breath his last.

Life is vulnerable. I don't believe in reincarnation. Say & do what you need to. Show & express what you have to. As life is short & time waits for none.

I look at my family with a different perspective now. It makes me ponder... All this while I showered them with love & affection without fail. Not knowing whether it is sufficient or inadequate. Refuse to acknowledge their concerns over my infinite mothering. Gone by phone chats with my parents without once the words "love you " uttered.

Alhamdulillah, my girls are natural in showing their fondness to both of us. Even to each other & their grandparents. HB, you know... there is always a room of improvement ;-O Me? I was not brought up in such way towards my dad (abah). It is a spontaneous act kissing & hugging my ma but sadly not my strict, no-nonsense abah. We know that we do love each other & period.

However, ever since my abah's 60th birthday, I had made the effort to kiss him after every salam. He looked surprised but did not hesitate. Even now, after salaming him, he will be the one ushering his cheeks to be kissed.

Quite recently too I witnessed my brother hugged him before leaving, after our regular monthly visits to our parents'. I felt the warmth between them even though our skin was untangible.

This reminds me of Roosevelt's quote which was recently highlighted in the movie Kungfu Panda. "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift." The best gift is of love & affection. Don't let the gift be an untold mystery. Treasure the gift & don't let it be history.

To my baby, my parents, my girls, my siblings, my family , my friends - I love each & everyone of you!


surprised

10 comments:

Yatie_T said...

Jabishah,
when I was a kid, my dad never shows affection to his children but we knows he would do anything for us and we knows how much he loves us. I remember the first time I gave him a hug, he was surprise and doesn't know what to do.... Abah just giggle but after that he'll get use to it.:) I guess in our culture men never been taught how to show or express their affection & love to their children. Only women have no problem showing our love and affection to our kids. I also want you to know that I cherish our friendship and so far there's nothing I didn't love about it.

jabishah said...

Hello yatie,
That is one culture that I want to have the honor to abolish. I can see that HB is coping quite well going against that particular culture. Will make sure that he remains kissing & hugging the girls without awkwardness.
Tx for your friendship.

eileen said...

i love you too....:D

wanshana said...

It's just the way we have been brought up, and like you, it is something that I'd gladly change.

I believe that one way to do this is to be open with your affections to your spouses in front of the kids (discretion exercised of course :))

Little embraces, little hugs, little kisses, and the little "I love yous" uttered to your spouse in front of the kids can do BIG wonders!

Alhamdulillah, like HB, my hubby is also very generous with his hugs and kisses and his "I love yous" to me and the kids.

Insya Allah, bila anak-anak dah besar nanti this will continue, and they would also do the same to their spouses and kids.

jabishah said...

Hi Eileen,
Let's spread the love... Hehehe. Mmmmwah!

jabishah said...

Hello Kak Shana,
I can't agree with you more. I am fortunate that my dad is still around for me to show affections. Some of my friends are regretting the fact that they didn't really break the tradition while they still had the chance.
So to any of you out there who has not grab the gift, do what you have to do. Don't let it be a misfortunate mystery.

a&a'smom said...

This a good reminder never to take life & the people we love for granted! Thxs for being my friend too.

jabishah said...

a&a's mom,
You are most welcome... ;-)

ida said...

i love u too...

jabishah said...

ida... ((hugs))