Wednesday, February 15, 2012

It was hard but I had to...

A month plus has passed but I can only find tonight to share the day I braved myself letting go of my first baby. It was not an easy task but I had to do it...

The moment she applied to go for a boarding school, I knew that parting would be tough. Really didn't want to think about it but went through the days as usual. When she was called for an interview to the school I allowed her to apply, I had a very strong feeling that she could get a place. After the interview she looked happy. Was confident with her answers. I didn't pressure with notes or what not for the interview. Merely to be herself but HB highlighted & polished on her voice projection. Yasmin has that problem. When she speaks she is lazy to open wide her jaws & she can go very fast too if she gets nervous.

The joy she wore on her face upon discovering her application was accepted almost put tears to my eyes. I knew that all her effort had been paid off. The only boarding school I gave my consent for her to apply & she was selected... I had no valid reason to say NO.

The preparation was done at the last minute. The packing too. I hated to see her luggage ready to leave the house. Even her documents were completed at the very last moment. It was really a chaos that night.

Packed! Sob! Sob!

HB was not around to send her off. He was working & away for a few days. I was there when father & daughter bade farewell. Yasmin was backing me so I didn't really see her expression. HB was right in front of me. The look he wore was rare. I didn't know it was tough on him too. He hugged her, kissed her forehead & wished her the best.

When he found out that he would be away during Yasmin's registration, he asked Yasmin whether she would mind his absence. Yasmin didn't argue. She didn't mind. But later I found out that she hoped that HB would swap his schedule. Lesson learnt... Never trust Yasmin's words when the situation is not convenient for her. She always putting others first...

Ok. The chaos the night before registration... I had some documents to be verified & having a good friend nearby I did that at the last minute. I thought I had everything ready but no. I forgot to xerox her certificates. This friend had a copier at her house so before finding out about the certificates I realised I didn't get Yasmin's IC photostatted. So we had hers copied but I needed to come again with the xeroxed certificates.

As I was making a checklist after coming back from my friend's place for the second time, I noticed I didn't get a page signed by her! I hate starting a day unprepared. Hence my driving to her house for the 3rd time that night!

The next morning was a hectic day for me. I had 2 girls starting school in new schools. You see we are moving to another area somewhere this year. Since Wardah is taking a major exam this year, we shifted her to a new school early. Wanted her to adjust early for the exam.

I was in Wardah's school that morning with Yasmin tagging. Reached the school around 715am but the headmaster informed us that her clerks would handle new students registration. Office started at 8am.

What annoyed me was when the number of parents started increasing & a clerk or 2 had already arrived but they refused to entertain us merely because they began work at 8am... What a mentality! True as I expected at 8am sharp only we were entertained.

Wardah during the school assembly...

Oh I missed the part when I received a a phone call from my friend from the night before. She was asking about my day & I thought she was expressing her concern since HB was away & had to do everything on my own. Then she told me to breathe in & out ... Informed me that I left Yasmin's original IC in the copier at her house! Duhh!! So once Wardah was settled in her new class we left for my friend's house. Good that her house was on the way to Yasmin's new school. Phewww! And the day was only beginning...

Reached the school about half an hour after registration started but the school seemed way too quiet. I saw lots of cars but no people around. Later we discovered everyone was inside the huge hall.

We were coiming from a different direction hence the confusion. If we were to enter from the main door things would be simpler. At the entrance Yasmin was introduced to her CS - college sister, Kak Mya. She took over the registration from me. I simply rested on a seat & called upon when needed. How cool was that? That was the time I updated my FB status, checked in Foursquare & chatted on whatsapp ;-)

Still it took us till 1pm to settle with all counters. Now let the pics show you around the school.

Yasmin with a new look in front of the school building


Check out the pose.. Love it!


Getting ready for bacaan ikrar


Her packed schedule during orientation... Was not allowed to go home that weekend.


With Mya her College Sister


A locker each.. cool!


All seats in front were booked. Settled with the 3rd row..


Her dormitory, sharing with another 9 girls


Her locker


She's in the Emerald house

I had to leave by 6pm. Managed to get all her stuff unpacked & nicely arranged by 3pm. After solat, we went to the cafe for a drink. Yasmin was still in her chirpy mood when I started giving pieces of advice about life in the hostel. I was in the middle of a sentence "If you miss me..." but failed to go on... I lost. In the middle of the cafe I was in tears.

Yasmin held my hand , she looked just fine. Comforting me when it was supposed to be me doing that to her. Managed to get hold of myself & completed my sentence. I thought this could be easy. It was better me shedding tears than her.


A pose of us together...

It was finally time to let her go... I drove back to her hostel. Braved myself & fought away my tears to face her. My Yasmin was already shaking. Ouhhh! Both mother & daughter embraced in the middle of the parking lot. She didn't show signs of letting me go. I told her to get inside the car again tried to comfort her. Still remember my words to her...

"Yasmin, in life we need to sacrifice in order to pursue our dreams... As much as I hate to leave you I need to let you go for I know this school will benefit you a lot. You're a smart girl. You need a school that can challenge you & this is the one. Take the opportunity..". Told her to walk to her dorm. I didn't want her to visualise her mom in a car leaving her. Once she disappeared from my view, I drove home.

It was really tough but we have improved. A lot! It is really not bad. I see her every weekend. She's not allowed to go home each weekend but seeing her is ample. She calls regularly. No more cryings like she used to in her first week. Every time she calls, she will start with "Mama sihat..?" which is so soothing to the heart.

These are our pictures during our first visit...

11 comments:

ibu,mommy,mom... said...

As a mom I can relate to your feelings. And I love your nasihat to her.furthermore she's your firstborn.
Well done to you both.
She will excel with the support she's getting from you.

jabishah said...

Amin renee... InsyaAllah. Im glad I did it. She has improved a lot. Nmpk more responsible & proper. Letting go of our first child is a phase we need to go through in our life. Mmg berat sgt tp alhamdulillah I did well I think :-)

jabishah said...

Amin renee... InsyaAllah. Im glad I did it. She has improved a lot. Nmpk more responsible & proper. Letting go of our first child is a phase we need to go through in our life. Mmg berat sgt tp alhamdulillah I did well I think :-)

Runiza said...

Jabishah
My first born is in boarding school too this year... so I totally understand the feeling... huhu! :(

Lizamurni Lokman said...

I was in tears myself reading your post especially after 'drinking at the cafe' part......

sedihnya but don't worry, u r a strong lady and it'll all be a breeze for u....

tireless mom said...

Tak aci... She is just 20 mins max away kan. All the best to Yasmin. You can just take the highway to her place and turn back if you miss her.

Leezas touch said...

Salam....
Oh so sad...the first time is always painful. I've been thru that when my eldest gal was in UITM Sg.Petani.I'm a full time mother n so attach with my children but as time goes by we'll manage somehow.Now dah kerja pun. So dont worry, everything will b ok n before u know it u gal dah masuk college pulak!

jabishah said...

I hope shes coping well there Runiza... Yasmin is missing me this week terribly. Asyik nangis je dgt suara mama. Cant wait to see her this wkend..

jabishah said...

Yup I pun terkedu jap writing it down.. I keep bz dikny with the other girls. klu layan mmg still banjir ni...

jabishah said...

Kak Yatt or shall I be formal with datin instead ;-)

I made it in 10 mins last week... hehehe! Ive done that inspecting the hiway thingy till i got a scolding frm dear HB ...

jabishah said...

Kak Leeza,

Thank you for ur pleasant words. I believe so. InsyaAllah.... Inexperienced mom. Nanti terror lah I kut kan with this letting go biz ;-)